The Race…

I barely heard the gun/buzzer/whatever go off and about three minutes later I shuffled across the starting line. Highlights/drivel from the race…what I remember, anyway…

Miles 1-2
Damn it’s freezing out here. My legs feel pretty good though and these first three miles went fast. Hey, I’m about 1/12th of the way finished!

Mile 3
Hmm. Both IT bands hurt. But I’m almost caught up to the 4:00 Clif pacer!

Miles 4-6
Well, crap. Both IT bands STILL hurt. Ok, finish this race and you never have to run again. Ever.

Miles 7-8
Ouch. Where is my support team? And the pacer? I have to go to the bathroom…

Mile 8.5
Finally, I’ve caught up to the Clif Bar pacer again.
Oooh look. Rent-a-Johns with no line! I’m so there.

Miles 9-11
My legs feel better! Was it the bathroom break or is the caffeine from my Gu helping? Hey, there’s my dad! And my friend Jule! I am not alone (cue Michael Jackson music)…

Miles 12-13
Who are these j-holes yelling “almost there”? I realize I am surrounded by half marathoners about to finish. I hate everyone.

Mile 14
I think, yes, I’m pretty sure I see the 4:00 Clif pacer in front of me. WAY in front of me.

Miles 14.5-18
I see a Running Spot coach on the sidelines. She’s coming to run with me! She’s talking to me, trying to keep me motivated, but I am barely listening because I am closing in on Catherine, the Clif pacer…

Mile 19
I catch Catherine and notice she is wearing pigtails. One of them has come unbraided. I’m right behind her and I can think of nothing but the lopsided ‘do. Does she know? Should I tell her???

Mile 20
Is this where I’m supposed to hit the Wall?

Mile 21
Catherine is encouraging us, saying that the race is all in our heads now because the pain is going to be awful. My legs are hurting again but they are also starting to go numb. The Wall must be coming any minute now.

I’m ready. Bring. It. On.

Mile 22
Catherine looks at her watch and announces that “a sub four is on the menu for us today”. This is a silly thing to say but I’m inspired. Am I really less than five miles from a sub four?

Mile 23
My stomach hates me. HATES me. My right knee is suddenly threatening to buckle and my sleeves, which I have pushed to my elbows, are annoying me to no end. But I don’t want to waste the energy to push them back down.

Mile 24
Ok, so am I not hitting the Wall? Hello??

Catherine advises the seasoned marathoners to run on ahead if they are feeling good but tells us newbies to hang with her until at least 25.

I realize I have yet to see four of my five friends who drove up from Cincinnati.

Hey, there’s the 4:00 pace coach from the Running Spot. And. I’m passing him.

Mile 25
Finally, I see some of my friends! I find out later that they were holding signs that say “Runners are Good in Bed” and “Show us Your Nip Guards”.

I pass Catherine and I hear her say “that’s what I want to see!”

I feel like a million bucks.

Mile 25.25
Good grief, where is the F’ing finish line?

Mile 25.5
Hey! There’s my dad again! I. Can. Do. This.

I start sprinting.

Miles 26-26.2
I see more friends on the sidelines. Then I see the finish line. It is right there.

I run all out for the last .2 miles and only then do I glance at my watch. It reads 3:58:25.

I see another Running Spot coach and he puts his arm around me to guide me out of the chute. Both legs have locked up and I am babbling nonstop. A photographer sees us and takes our picture. I make a ridiculous face at the camera, in honor of the Photo Awareness Power Point.